I'm always having thoughts of killing myself?

I can sort of relate. I've had a pretty crappy childhood and so many ridiculous trials throughout my life, I've often considered doing myself in too. I've also thought of ways I would do it, like driving into oncoming traffic, overdosing, drowning myself, a gun. But then I debate with myself, and I start to think of WHY do I want to die? What will I miss if I actually do it? I have 3 kids now, and they keep me going now. I have to ask you, these feelings of suicide you have, are they feelings YOU are feeling or are they thoughts that randomly pop into your head? Do you really WANT to die? Do you have no feeling of self-worth? I mean, do you think you have no purpose and that no one loves you? Or are they really just thoughts that randomly come into your head? Do you sometimes feel like you are arguing with someone else about who you are? Has something happened in the past that you feel you can't live with? I've found that talking with my best friend and husband about my pain has helped me to overcome my desire to die. Knowing that life has so many things to offer if I just seek them leaves me curious enough to stay here to see where life will lead me next. And all the people who have dragged me down in my past, are no longer part of my life. If there are people making you feel worthless, maybe they'd be better off left in your past. I wish you the best and hope you find the answers you're looking for!